Navigating Toxic Relationships in Music Creation

If a relationship is toxic, this can happen with co-writers or band members. Sometimes, conflict can be great because it sparks wonderful creativity, and it's actually all right.

I've worked in music for many years, and I can tell you:

• Volatile relationships can lead to the best music.
• When it becomes unhealthy, it's vital to acknowledge that, yes, this is an unhealthy, toxic relationship that we have.

The Dual Nature of Conflict

Yes, it can provide us with material and inspiration for our music. However, if it becomes too much, you have to part ways. Consider what you might lose along the way.

• It is possible to manage conflict healthily.
• When that conflict helps you create a better song, it becomes more manageable if you acknowledge that, yes, this person may be unhealthy.

For instance, this might be someone who:

• Is using a lot of drugs
• Is constantly in bad relationships

Finding Value in Chaos

You might look at the situation and ask yourself: What is the value of this for both of us?

• It's crucial to want them to be healthy, but if the goal is delivering creative material, those clashes can sometimes work in your favor.
• Once you accept and acknowledge these conflicts, you might find that it's actually beneficial.

Reflecting on Conflict

When you experience conflict, consider:

• Is there anything good coming from this conflict?
• What will I lose if I remove this conflict from my life?

You often find artists who have had some success, who now have a manager, perhaps a friend from their early days.

• This first manager may be the most honest voice in their career.
• When this manager says, "Hey, this third single sucks. You need to rewrite this," successful artists might react defensively, thinking, "I've had two hits; I don't need to listen to you anymore."

As this conflict escalates, artists may surround themselves with sycophants, leading to a crucial moment of reflection:

• Is this person still being honest with me?
• Are they perhaps giving me good advice, even if I don't want to hear it?

A Lesson in Listening

It's about understanding the nature of the conflict. Sometimes, the things we don't want to hear are the very things we learn and grow from.